15 July 2008, 03:49 by mark hoekstra

iNoPhone nada zero G

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It’s been a long time since I’ve been playing with my iNoPhone collection, but well, because others seem to be feeling the need to push the marketing envelope on their product, I felt like pushing the minimalist envelope one more time again. I really thought I was done with the iNoPhones after I made the guided tour but well, somewhere in Cupertino they must’ve thought they were done with the Jesus Phone too about a year ago, right? Well… wrong… as it now seems all is part of a bigger scheme where making something a tiny bit lighter and adding some Gs (geez) here and there makes people line up all again! I wonder if there still will be people lining up once it gets a 5MP camera, but at that time you’ll probably think a better camera so you can actually recognize the relatives you’re shooting pics of, is worth getting you into another two year contract. Right… Well, looking at the improvements that have been done to the Jesus Phone (and makes people line up all over again for a product which is what? 99% the same?), let’s see where we get the iNoPhone nada if we follow the same principles, shall we?

Can we make the same product, or even better, but lighter? That seems to be the magic trick. Make it lighter and make people believe how important Gs (geez) are to your life, really, you can’t live your life without Gs, it’s the truth. (geez, I tell you).

Here’s the general idea. Take the iNoPhone nada and instead of adding Gs to it, I thought, let’s see what happens if we remove the 1G it already has? I mean, this is an experiment in minimalism, how can I go and add something? I can’t and so I didn’t. The answer was to remove our Gs to see what effect it has on our handset.

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Well, after some experimenting, almost all the Gs were gone… almost… the perceived Gs when holding it were zero, but at release, it was still telling the truth and having a tiny bit of Gs left…

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In all other experiments, the removal of Gs seemed very comfortable! This was almost a breakthrough in truly hands free calling! If only I could remove that last tiny bit of Gs that kept this handset to the ground.

“hmmmz, you sound different, did you loose some weight maybe?”
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Well, in the end I had to make a completely new iNoPhone nada (you’re allowed to call it the Air, or INA if you will) from the ground up. Don’t let the looks deceive you! It’s a totally new device!

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The iNoPhone nada Air:

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And here’s a shot of a collection of nadas:

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The anti-Gs-technology:

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And after experimenting with the iNoPhone nada Air in combination with the anti-Gs, I had success! The total of Gs was less than zero! (that’s less than zero in a laboratory environment) To make sure this would also work outside, the in-house less-than-zero Gs didn’t worry me.

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A video of some experiments. As you can see, picking up a zero-G handset can be tricky.

direct link to video on youtube

Well, even though the anti-Gs-technology is working hard to deliver the best in zero-G-perceptiveness, when using a zero-G-handset outside, the optional wristband can be necessary.

“hey! someone forgot his iNoPhone nada Air with anti-Gs-technology!”
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making a call and a minimalist zero-G handset in its natural environment
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And here you have it… an experiment in nothingness, not even in my possession anymore (I think Jesus took it)(geezus).

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Disclaimer: The author does have an iPhone, it only lacks some Gs and he only uses it as an alarm clock. But hey, getting out of bed each day on time is worth a lot, I tell you! That and … Gs of course (geez).

earlier on this site and all experiments in …well, nothing...:
iNo, because youNo…
iNoPhone, a guided tour
iNoPhone nada headset


  1. Chris @ 17 July 2008, 13:10 :

    There is simply no way you are going to make that any more minimal. That is, unless you give it some stealth camo.

  2. Jason @ 26 August 2008, 23:03 :

    hahah! G neeous!

  3. Mhunter @ 13 May 2010, 09:49 :

    can’t but admire your creative genius!!! it’s worth a Nobel prize;)

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